WTF Custard ?

1. Nice label concealing. That's obviously Vicks 44. High Fucktose Corn syrup + Heavy Dissociative = medicine ? Uh...
2. Dairy exacerbates respiratory problems. Duh.
3. wtf

Sorry Ms. Betty Chichy, but you obviously know next to nothing about food.

I liked the part where she said the thing about how one time in the hospital a nurse gave her custard.

Tips for eating a super diet...

I'm on kind of a strict diet... But I eat DELICIOUS things! These are some things you should look for at the grocer if you want to be on a super diet free of common allergens and artificial ingredients...

1. NUTS & SEEDS
--Raw whenever possible. No sugar or salt added.
--I like to soak 'em in sea salt & water overnight before eating them. Makes them more digestible and yummy.
--Chia seeds are GREAT. My other mainstays: pepitas, almonds, brazil nuts, walnuts.

2. FRUIT - DRIED AND/OR FRESH
--Preferably organic. Check out a list of which fruits have the most pesticides on them, and just buy those particular fruits organic. It's more of a concern with certain things than others. Apples are a big one. Get 'em organic if you can.
--For dried fruits - No sugar or salt added. No preservatives added. (Find these at natural food stores or trader joe's)
--Pineapple, banana, and melon are great satisfiers of sugar cravings! They are also some of the best fruits out there!

--Grab the nuts&fruits, mix it all up, and turn them into bars if you want! (Recipe below).
--Mix up some chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, banana slices, and whatever other fruits you have around for a super breakfast ! (Recipe somewhere on this blog)

3. FRESH VEGGIE SOUP !
--I make a big soup pot once a week. Lately I've been making a leek / mushroom soup with lots of herbs, garlic, spices, etc. I will put up the recipe eventually. But at the moment I'm all tired out from typing out that raw bar recipe!
--you can throw in some rice or barley or quinoa if you're not allergic like me!
--I add raw almond butter to my soup to thicken it sometimes, and it tastes great!
--I used Braggs liquid aminos instead of soy sauce. Also tastes great! (but it's still soy)

4. SPINACH & HERB SALAD !
--Mix some fresh greens/wild edibles/spinach/herb salad up, and throw fresh veggies, fruit, & nuts/seeds on top.
--My favorites: mushrooms (raw or sauteed with some garlic, ginger, onions, & herbs), peppers, cucumber, avocado, nuts&seeds(above), beans (a little starchy for my diet but so delicious!), strawberries, mango, pineapple, basil, tomatoes...

5. MEAT / SEA FOOD
--I'm on the fence about this one because selecting safe sea food is such a pain in the a$$... Also agriculture tortures animals. Sad but true. I started eating meat after a long bout of vegetarianism because I stopped being able to tolerate starch for a while and needed a protein source
--But I really like (in order of preference)
-raw oysters! With a little hot sauce, lemon juice, and horseradish!
-salmon, raw or cooked (But if you eat it raw, make sure you get SUSHI GRADE fish)
-organic turkey or chicken lunch meat with no added salt. Only place I know to get this is whole foods. They make it in house. You can also roast your own turkey, but let's face it, I'm lazy and I was a vegetarian for so long that I don't know how to cook a turkey.
-sauteed shrimp

6. SUPERFOODS I EAT EVERY DAY
--juice of one lemon in water (you could add honey?)
--cranberry juice or cranberry sauce (unsweetened. That's the way I like it.)
--chia seeds (I already mentioned those)
--garlic
--ginger
--selection of (herbal) teas. Ginger lemon. Decaf chai green/black tea. India spice. Ginseng. Antioxidant blend.Sleepytime/relaxation blends.

7. GUILTY PLEASURES (things I wouldn't eat (ideally) but I do because I REALLY like them)
--SUSHI !!!!!! ...Jesus, raw fish wrapped in seaweed & rice is just SO DAMN GOOD !
--dark chocolate with no added milkfat or sugar. Throw it in the trail mix !
--the occasional steak. I crave steak maybe 3 times a year, and that's the only time I eat it
--Potatoes & sweet potatoes! Too starchy, in my opinion, but REALLY tasty! And no, not the fried kind. But they're really good sauteed and topped with some...
--Spicy hummus. Too starchy. But come on. I should probably come up with a recipe for hummus made from fava beans...

I take vitamins too, and they make me feel pretty great. I'm not going to list them, you'll have to do your own research to see what you need. But go for the natural ones, they are much better absorbed/used by the body. For a multi-Vitamin/mineral I really like intra-max, which is a liquid and sort of expensive but kinda works wonders.

MMM FOOD.

So there you have it. That's pretty much everything I eat. And I'm fat & happy without all that sugar, gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, & artificial shit. ('cept for the "fat" part).

SUPER energy BARS !

These bars are RAW... That is, dehydrated... in a dehydrator. If you don't have one... TOUGH LUCK. But you can get a pretty good one for under 70$. This is my first use of my dehydrator... Christmas Gift. Thanks Mom & Dad!!! ... I mean... "Santa"...

Makes 50+ bars.

FREE OF soy, dairy, sugar cane, egg, wheat/gluten. Low starch.
Contains Tree Nuts.

Dehydrate at 95-105 degrees (F) for 12-18 hours.

Put all the following ingredients in a chopper/blender/food processor/appliance of your choice. I had to do it in rounds, not all at once, because my chopper holds 3 cups, and this stuff amounts to like... A LOT more than that. Then combine all the mush in a BIG bowl. Like the biggest bowl you have. If you can't get some of the things on this list, don't sweat, just replace them with something of similar liquid content or just leave them out!

I got almost everything in this recipe from Trader Joe's... except the mucuna (order from internet... it's sort of a specialty item... promotes release of HGH naturally and makes the brain happy)... And the chia, which can be found at most health food stores. It's a great source of omega 3 fatty acids. I got the ginseng tea at the first oriental grocer. Ginseng is easy to find at any Asian grocer.

I lined two of my dehydrator trays with very thin slices of banana or orange and spread the bar mix on top of that. Gives it a nice flavor/kick/looks pretty!

RAW NUTS (soak overnight in 1/2 TBSP sea salt & clean water. Drain before blending/chopping)
***Leave some whole or more coarsely chopped, depending on what consistency you'd like your bars to have.
1 c almonds
1 c walnuts
1 c brazil nuts
1 c pepitas (pumpkin seeds, shelled)


FRUITS (preferably organic, esp if you want to include the peels of some of them!)
***Chop coarsely then put in the food processor! You can also leave chunks if you prefer.
2 apples
2 bananas
1 small ripe papaya... WITH seeds
1 ripe mango
1 ripe pineapple, with its juices
2 c prunes
1 lb cranberries. I cooked mine in 1/2 c water on the stove for 5 minutes before adding. If you aren't too lazy to wait for them to cool, you can put them in the chopper after cooking! (However I was to lazy to wait for them to cool so I left mine whole and mixed them in)

OTHER SUPER INGREDIENTS!
1 c flour - I used almond flour. They usually have it at Trader Joe's. If you want to omit or replace it, I would recommend one of the following GF flours, made by BobsRedMill: quinoa, fava bean, brown rice, hazelnut. Or any GF flour of your choice. Even buckwheat, perhaps? I generally don't get a "gluten free flour mix" because there is usually added potato/tapioca starch. Which may be fine for you! But I do much better with lower starch flours.
1/4 c raw honey, dissolved in...
juice of 1 Lemon
5 packets of instant korean ginseng tea (mixed into the cranberry sauce or lemon/honey liquid before adding)
1/4-1/2 cup mucuna seed powder (aka mucuna bean aka mucuna pruriens aka velvet bean powder)
1-2 c chia seed powder
2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp ground clove
2 tsp ground ginger

OTHER THINGS I DID NOT ADD, THAT YOU COULD ADD IF YOU WANT...
('cause I think it might be kinda good)
gogi berries
coconut oil
coconut flour or chopped/ground coconut meat
more nuts/seeds of your choice
dried dates (I don't like them because I think they're too sweet, but you may like them better than prunes!)
cocoa powder or chunks of chocolate (keep in mind that chocolate may contain dairy/sugar)
spirulina or other green superfood powder
protein powder (but watch out for soy & dairy!)
flax seeds
hemp seeds
raisins
brown rice syrup

So... Take a deep breath... Wow. That's a lot of ingredients. Yes, it took me a really long time to make these. But the salvation of my body is at stake! (I'm a huge proponent of a raw/natural/paleo diet! ... Even though I don't always follow it completely)

You can be patients, or you can be patience!